The Diaries Of An Alpha Mum

Jaden and Hubby battaling it out in a dance-off in between cooking thanksgiving dinner

2009-12-08T20:09:00.000-08:00

2009-12-08T20:07:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving Turned Out To Be Wild Fun After All

2009-12-08T19:30:00.000-08:00

Sorry it has been a while since my last post.Lots of amazing things has been happening in my life and my blog ends up suffering from this. i promise to make the time to keep posting on a more regular basis.

So Thanksgiving turned out to be wild fun after all. The hubby and I hosted thanksgiving dinner for our respective siblings, thier significant other's and also another yummy mummy friend of mine Janell and her hubby and son Phoenix.

Always trying to be the perfect hostess I started the day in the wee hours of the morning cooking. My "job" was to cook all the side dishes (like 5 of them) while my hubby cooked the turkey.Hubby cooked a turkey which meant at the end of the night he took all the credit for the entire thanksgiving meal. Of course the hard labor and hours I spent cooking 5 side dishes, cleaning the kitchen,setting the table was slightly over-looked.

I will say though the time spent in the kithen cooking turned into a dance off between my hubby and son Jaden. I could not stop laughing my head off. Loads of red wine was bought, Janell made the most scrumptious red velvet cake. Dinner was delicious indeed and as always once my brother Ben Buck, hubby's 2 sister's Melanie and Andrea, cousin Daniel get together well the party begins.

Daniel,Jaden and Phoneix put on another dance show for us to thier favourite song Boom Boom by the Black Eyed Peas. These boys were quite impressive. And you can see us Mum's were silently being competitve to see which boy danced the best.

Christmas is more my thing(my xmas tree was up the day after Halloween) but after so many years living in the States and now having a family of my own, thanksgiving is truly a fun holiday and a day to give Thanks for all one's blessing.

XXX
Naima

My Yummy Mummy Brunch Is Growing

2009-11-24T09:43:00.001-08:00

Two months ago I hosted a brunch with 3 of my mummy friends at my house. It was during the week and at 10 am when the kids were in school. We ate yummy pasta I had made and I served a "light" cocktail lol if there is such a thing. It was fabulous. Since then I have had 2 more brunches which I have coined "yummy mummy" brunch. This last one was so wonderful. We had 10 mums and 2 dads. Every one brought a brunch item, croissants,scones,bagels,muffins.

Briam one of the dads, cooked a mad omelete with salmon,dill and cheese.Lorna our "english" mum made this yummy pancake dish with whipped cream and jam.I served my brunch cocktail Pimms. The conversations flowed...kinder-garden application process as always is a major topic, we ate and laughed and it was just wonderful.

We look forward to the next one. I just adore all of my "yummy mummy" friends. So all you mum's out there if even for just one day a month, with hectic schedules,kids,hubby,work...take the time to get together and have coffee,a meal,a cocktail at home with other mum friends.It truly keeps you feeling in the mix and connected.

xxx

naima

Naima

Your Kids Truly Keep You Young At Heart.

2009-11-01T16:22:00.000-08:00

Is It Strange When Your Child Uses The Words "Dead" "Kill" "Ghost" "Blood" On A Weekly Basis?

2009-10-30T22:59:00.000-07:00

So let me explain further. Actually let me pre-qualify the question. My adorable,sweet,loving,charismatic 4 year old son's bonding time with his father(my loving hubby) is watching SCARY MOVIES. I guess I should list them so you don't think I am being "dramatic Naima" . Now these movies are not watched on special occasions like in the spirit of "Halloween"...Happy Halloween by the way. They watch this all the time. So back to the list of my son's favorite scary movies to watch with his daddy.

1. Ghost Hunter's...now this I don't mind as much since it is documentary styled lol
2.Beouwolf
3.True Blood...yes you read it right. I will say in my defense if ever I catch him watching this I turn the television off immediately.Alas his daddy does not.
4. Any B horror movie on the ScFi channel

Okay I said I would never blog about this,only from sheer astonishment that he enjoys and actually bonds with his daddy over these shows/movies...and also fear of getting ridiculed ,though I really feel like a innocent bystander in this situation.

So speaking to one or 2 friends and professionals in child psychology. They have told me if my son is putting everything he watches in context and not having nightmares,leave it alone for a while and let the two guys bond. Hmmmm My son does not have not one single nightmare, and I ask him if he is scared when he watches these shows with his daddy. With a genuine smile he says "No Mummy, I love watching scary movies with Dad".

Aside from his advanced knowledge of death,killing,and blood well for a 4 year old. He seems pretty normal.

To all my mummy peeps out there in cyber world. What are your thoughts on this?

Have a happy and safe Halloween
xxx
N

"It Is Your Job"

2009-10-28T14:56:00.000-07:00

This weekend my husband told me in a serious voice " Babes it is your job" to make Sunday dinner. I looked at him and replied " My job"? He went on to explain since my financial contribution has reduced drastically, he is the bread-winner and it is his job to give the family security and all the splendid luxuries we have. It is my job now to be the home-maker, mum and wife and all it's duties it entails( I also do real estate and and presently writing a screen-play). I must note that we do have a full-time nanny/house-keeper. Yet I was stunned by the way my husband described it as " my job" to make Sunday dinner and he further went on to list many other instances that would fall under " my job".

Normally I would go into detail my opinion on a topic I discuss but I am truly confused by this word "job" to describe what should be something natural as a wife,home-maker,Mum. I am going to leave this discussion completely open to all my friends, followers of my blog to help me understand what my husband meant by " my job"

xxx

Yahoo Alpha Mums/Direct Marketer's new target is " The Alpha Mum"

2009-08-27T10:45:00.000-07:00

"Alpha mums are the group which direct marketers should be targeting if they want to improve their returns on investment, according to a new report.USA Today describes the new social group, alpha mums, as those mothers with spending power and influence and it generally includes business women who work from home, are self-employed and enjoy a good social life meeting other women who they often influence.Perrin Kaplan, the vice president of marketing for computer game manufacturer Nintendo, told the newspaper: "It is not a fad - it's permanent."Alpha mums are one of our key targets, because they have this high social-networking factor."

Written by Direct marketers' new target is 'the alpha mum' - Marketing News - BusinessStrata

Gin Lemonades,Mojito Cocktails @ 2 pm Playdates. I am loving my Foreign Mummies/Daddies

2009-08-26T20:36:00.000-07:00

Today Jaden and I had a wonderful play date. A Mum originally from London and a Dad originally from South Africa and their respective kids. We first stopped off at a pub to get take-out. Yummy french fries and honey spicy wings. Then we headed over to the South African Dad's lovely brownstone in my neighborhood, Clinton Hill. After the kids ate their food and was off to play. Our SA Dad made us a pitcher of this mad cocktail. Gin/lemonade/fresh strawberries. All three of us parents lounged in his garden sipping our cocktails and commenced to talk about many things. How expensive private school are in America, the insanity of paying $25,000 to $35,000 a year for a 5 year old to attend kinder-garden. About different cultures, holidays we have all had over the summer. Mostly we talked about drinking mad cocktails at 2 pm in the day whilst on a play date. When it was all done, I gleefully walked home with Jaden in tow home. Xxxxx

I Was In A 2 day Funk..Now I Am Very MOTIVATED

2009-08-24T06:41:00.000-07:00

I was in a 2 day funk, hence no entries the last day , had a fender bender with my hubby's car yesterday . Another idiot runs a red light and well it just makes me so jaded to drive again. No FAITH in drivers honoring red lights anymore. Maybe I should take a defensive course. Well everyone is safe and sound and this has me even more motivated to get back to work and be able to afford the luxury of a " driver" yes I want one of those. Jaden is such a sweet little boy, showering me with endless kisses to cheer me up. I love him so. On another note, I started a 7 day super cleanse. After which I am back to 5 day gym workouts and watching my diet. All this is part of my re-invention. Now need to focus on no procrastinating, and only 10 minutes a day on Face-Book. My screen-play is going full speed ahead and I have two amazing real estate deals in the pipeline. Monday 24Th August 2009. An amazing new beginning.

I Am Saying This Whole Mummy-Thing Is Not That Bad After All

2009-08-22T18:17:00.000-07:00

So it is 4 years now that I am some one's mummy. Jaden's mummy in fact. I have felt beyond overwhelmed, fearful, anxious,major lost of identity, over the last 4 years. Today I feel love, joy and I am okay with not being the "perfect mum" that caused me to have all those initial feelings in the first place. Don't get me wrong I still have major anxiety, and I function daily in an overwhelmed state. My son Jaden when he runs to me and kisses me and tells me all the things a mum wants to hear from her child " I love you mummy". I look into my son's eyes and all I see is happiness. I know that I am going to be okay despite it all. I love being Jaden's mummy and I am starting to love "Naima" as a mother.

The Dreaded,Freaking Football Season Has Begun

2009-08-21T18:33:00.000-07:00

So the dreaded freaking football season has begun. Today after dropping off my beloved cousins who were on holiday with us for the last two weeks, I met my hubby for cocktails. The set up... stormy, rainy, sexy Friday night. I met my hubby at one of our favorite little neighborhood spot Luz for mulatto mojitios(dark rum). Delish dinner, funny conversation, I made sure to look extra hot in a white halter dress and red heels. Also made sure my nanny had Jaden asleep by the time we got home. And what is the first thing my wonderful hubby does? He puts a FOOTBALL game on!!!!!!! Now I know the night is still young and if I was to stay up and not get too bored and fall asleep...after the "game" some rather hot love making will occur...but damn is this how it is going to be?... Will football be our new "foreplay"? Should I be a bit peeved or be the very understanding wife?

I Have Been Missing In Action Since February, I can Explain!!!!

2009-08-20T13:27:00.000-07:00

So I have been missing in action since February...wait I can explain. Okay so during my downtime as a real estate broker and mad mummy blogger at night, I came up with the genius, rather splendid idea actually to chronicle my mummy and fellow yummy mummy friends ...and all our insane, hysterically ,hilarious and downright scandalous adventures into a screen-play. Yes that is right you read it a SCREEN-PLAY...ever since then I have been writing, writing in a mad sort of way. And if I do say so myself have come to the conclusion that I am very good at writing and telling stories. Now all of my characters are LOOSELY based on my life and a few mummy friends of mine, 90 percent are embellished.....At times I catch myself day-dreaming about it being picked up by a major holly wood company, and I see myself all fabulous with my close friends walking the red carpet at my movie premiere...hey what is that old saying.." see it and you can achieve it"....So stay tuned and in the meanwhile, your mad mummy blogger is back and will be making daily entries... My last entry was about how my short hair cut made me sexy again, well it turns out that lasted a little while then I became all self conscious again and had major havoc with long hooker like weaves, and all that mad stuff...so tomorrow shall tell you some of those tales, a bit tired now since I have had back to back cousins on holiday with me for the last month....muaaah ..oh yeah and my son Jaden turned 4 a few weeks ago, he is such the little man now...xxx

How A Hair-Cut Made Me Start Back Wearing My Sexy High Heels Again!!!

2009-02-22T19:21:00.000-08:00

So it has been 3 years since I had my son, and it took all of the 3 years for me to finally start getting my " mojo" back. By mid March of 2008 I decided I must lose most of the weight I had gained during my pregnancy, cutting back on late night eating, chasing a toddler around the house over the course of 10 months I was able to lose close to 30 pounds. I am definitely feeling more confident and happy to be able to shop for my pre-baby size once again. One thing though that was still lacking was my edge, I still ran around in ugg boots, sneakers the fallout of just running around with Jaden, household errands, work. Un-combed hair, no makeup things that before I had my son would never be part of my daily routine.

Last week on an ordinary Tuesday I decided in a precise moment to have my hair chopped off. To be fair let me pre-qualify by telling you that it had horrible damaged ends a result from coloring the last 2 years, so I was planning on a cut. The night before My hubby who has an amazing sence of style on a woman went over some styles that would best suit me. Next day I surprised myself by having it cut in a shorter style which 30 pounds heavier, chubby face and all would never work on me. Since my hair-cut I feel this edgy, sexy, fun side coming back to me. Today taking my son and nephew to the Brooklyn Museum I wore leggings and tall patent leather high heeled boots. A bit edgy for a 2 pm visit to the Museum but damn did I look Hot!!!! It took my haircut to transform me into a " divalyssicous mum"

xoxo

The Never Ending To Do List Of An Alpha Mum

2009-02-16T17:32:00.000-08:00

So I have decided to be blatantly honest and start this with an exclamation " I love being a Mum, I just hate doing it" This was how I felt most of the first 3 years of my son's existence in my life.

"It" felt to me almost like an impossible job. I am not talking about the indignities of changing dirty pamper's or trying to calm my son's 10 minute tantrum in a store because he cannot get the toy he wants. I expected this much when I became a Mum. I am talking about the crushing exhaustion , the days when I barely kept it together 99 percent of the time, when I was supposed to be cherishing it all. My self imposed ideal of what a " perfect mum" was. That I was suppose to spend as much quality time with my son as I can, be a supportive wife, and still keep my career on target.

My never ending to do list was something like this,

1. Spend quality time with Jaden

2.Spend quality time with close friends and family

3.Look refreshed, relaxed, fit and fashionable

4.Cook dinner for my son and hubby every night ( or make sure to order it)

5.Find all the gazillion toys and pieces and put them away

6.Maintain my family's social calender

7.Create perfect birthday parties, with perfect goodie bags

8.Vet all service providers, doctors, babysitters, teachers

9.Recompose self from a never ending day of mulit-tasking Jaden, house and work duties and not look desperate when hubby gets home.

10. Arrive home from work or appointments with loads of energy for Jaden and hubby.

I finally came to the realization that not everything on my to do list was doable nor should it be. I had to find a way to get out of that "craziness" and just be happy raising Jaden as well as being a good person to my hubby. The key was to re-examine my priorities and redefine motherhood as something I both CAN and WANT to do.

Here are some ways that helped me to realign my priorities and really my life. First I had to take a hard look at my expectations, and cross off the those things that really, really did not need to be there. Next prioritize what was on my list. Did I really need to have fresh flowers in the house? Did I have to make sure my son clothes had to always make a fashion statement before he left the house? Did I have to cook an elaborate meal every night for my hubby when he came home from work? Did I have to read 10 books a day or plan major activities for my son otherwise I felt so guilty because all the other Mum's did it? These things are all great, but when these small expectations start becoming huge priorities, you can lose sight of the bigger, more important picture. This was when It started to become more liberating,I just started to follow my instincts and my core values. The goal is to end up with only those expectations that are truly vital to your family.

xoxo

Do We Mum's Dread Taking Our Kids Out With Us For Dinner,Brunch, Cocktail's?

2009-02-15T07:00:00.000-08:00

My hubby and I love dining out in New York City, Sunday brunch at Pastis, Cookshop,Balthazar dinners at Sushi Samba, Spice Market, Serafina. I loved meeting my girlfriends for after-noon cocktails at my little French Bistro Chez Oscar. Once Jaden was born it was just natural to incorporate him into our dining experience. The first 2 years we were able to take him with us since as a baby we could soothe him with a pacifier and cuddling. NYC restaurants as in many other cities across America now are shockingly kid-friendly and welcome kids. As a toddler it has gotten a lot trickier, stronger personality, easily distracted and prone to a tantrum here and there. Here are some tips that have worked so well for me and made it a joy to continue our dining experience out on the town...Jaden in tow. xoxo

Anxiety about taking the kids out to dinner in New York can outweigh the enjoyment of the meal itself. The key to a stress-free evening? Preparation.

* Eat Early. Avoid the eight o’clock rush.
* Sit In The Back. When making a reservation, request an out-of-the-way table. If your kids get cranky or hyper, they won’t disturb other diners.
* Bring A Stroller. “It comes in handy when toys, silverware, and food have been thrown overboard and nothing seems to calm your screaming baby, “If things get out of hand, go around the block singing your most soothing lullaby. At least your better half can enjoy the respite.”
* Call Ahead. Ask whether the restaurant is equipped with high chairs, and if it’s a child-friendly environment. Mention that you’ll be bringing a child so that the staff is ready when you arrive. (This will also increase your chances of getting a waiter who’s good with kids.) If you anticipate coming back, offer to pay for the broken dishes and leave a good tip.
* Bring Distractions. Books, markers, and paper, a favorite stuffed animal that doesn’t honk or squeak—anything that will divert their attention from breakable items (and boredom).

Do We Mum's Have Un-realistic Or Mis-guided Expectations Of What A Date Night With Hubby Should Be?

2009-02-13T20:19:00.000-08:00

Just got back from dinner and cocktails at sexy little Latin restaurant Luz in my neighborhood Clinton Hill, Brooklyn with hubby. Taking total advantage of new Nanny situation. As always we started talking about the house, plans for the immediate future, Jaden blah, blah. Important stuff but would rather not discuss this drinking a dark Mojito in hand. Rather have flirtatious conversations instead. After 2 cocktails and easily feeling the effects of it, sitting right next to us is an ex client of hubby's and she is with two wonderful ladies ( family relatives). We all ended up having the most entertaining conversation filled with loads of laughs and exchanged information about the neighborhood we live in, I was also able to make a great business connection with one of the ladies. The night turned out to be such an amazing time and hubby and I were able to have that fun date after all. The expectations I had were from some " magazine" notion of what really is " romantic" or " sexy" when it is all about having fun with the one you love period, especially after many years of marriage and children. So I am happy to say I had such a fabulous Friday night with hubby...Happy Valentine's day xoxo

Is It Insane When A Trip To Target Alone( no kids) Becomes Therapeutic For You?

2009-02-13T07:08:00.000-08:00

As I walked down the aisle of Target 8 am this morning( yes they open that early) I find myself in a kind of mesmerized trance. I mean I go to Target weekly but always with Jaden and well having a 3 year old yelling " Mummy buy me hot wheels" let us just say my main mission is to get what I need ( always for Jaden) and get the hell out. This morning if felt like another universe. I leisurely walk down each aisle but linger longer on the magazine stand as well as on all the books on relationships, how to be a " Good Mother", how to " Raise the perfect child". I then saunter over to the clothing section, not that I look look down on shopping for my clothes at Target , just never was interested, but now with no screaming toddler, I see some cute lounge wear, t shirts..wow freaking cool. I of course with all this alone time end up buying things I do not need ( like kitchen gadgets I would never use) . At the cashier I pick up more knick knacks not needed. On my way out "heaven" Starbucks!!!! With my skim cafe mocha in hand I walk to the parking lot, jump in car feeling revitalized...I say now as I write, even me in shock " Can you imagine"...

What's An Alpha Mum?

2009-02-12T19:09:00.000-08:00

An alpha mum is a new breed of mums, hip,savy and sensational. I am not interested in reading books on child rearing 101, I am more interested in information geared for my more modern ways i.e juggling lunch dates and play dates, commuting and car pooling. me-time and mummy and me time. I am devoted to my son and my hubby but working daily to also be true to myself. I was fun and out-going before I had my son at work, at home, and at a cocktail party and I strive to still be doing it all with style, smarts, grace and well still working on this one " seemingly without effort"

It has taken all of the 3 years since I have had my son Jaden to work my way back to my pre-Mum self. To realize that it is okay to take time for that glass of red wine, to read that tabloid on fabulous looking celebrities mum's , to once again be that sexy woman who prioritizes romance and yes SEX in my top 3 list....over the 3 years it took forming relationship with fellow mums like myself sharing stories on the trials and tribulations of being a Mum to help me transform back to ME....I plan on utilizing this blog to continue to reach out to share and to inspire as well as be inspired by all the alpha mums across America and the World...xoxo

Naima